Philippians Chapter Two:
Rather than going verse by verse, I’m just going to address the major theme of this passage (especially of vs. 1-18), and my personal response to it.
Reading this passage, despite its old familiarity, still makes me ache. In fact, I think it hurts a little more each time I read it. Part of this is, of course, the fact that I fail to live up to these verses. I fall short of them every single day, most days before I even manage to get out of bed. But the thing that really makes it hurt is the vision it creates in my mind of what the church could be, of our potential, of how absolutely, awe-inspiringly beautiful the church is meant to be. One of my biggest daily struggles with my faith is with the church: I have to fight with all I’ve got not to hate the church, not to just go wandering off on my own in pursuit of Christ without the church, which is of course and impossible and ultimately deadly route to take. Often I don’t fight very hard, but just sit here in a pool of bitterness, hurt, and anger against the church, all it has done and all it stands for, not just to me personally or to my family, but to the world at large. And it is true, for someone looking for reasons to hate the church, well, their task is painfully simple. But we were, and are, called to something as infinitely beautiful as our current condition is infinitely wrong. We were called to be the visible portrayal of these verses. Imagine how beautiful a thing the church would be if we could only live in this manner, imagine how lovely and lovable. This distance between our reality and what we have been called to is what makes this passage feel like a stab in the heart. And, contrary to what you may expect, I have no answer, no nice conclusion or pacifying generalization to make. I’m still here in this place where my gut response to the church is one of disgust and bitterness, and where this passage calls forth more pain than joy. All I have to offer in the way of a cheerful ending is the sure knowledge that someday, in a world that I honestly can’t even imagine, this state of things will change, and I will be able to admire the church as the glorious and glorified bride of Christ.
